i sit there waiting

Just waiting for you to show some sign of contact. Yet, all i recieve is nothing. Not even a sign hatefullness or appreciation. No matter what, it’s always me that starts this. But soon enough, i’m gone.

Now what does this mean?
Everytime i hop on MSN, im always hoping to talk to someone, anyone. Though, there’s this one person whom i used to have long conversations is long gone.His status is always away or busy. So as a sign of respect and care i don’t in’annoy’ him. Yet, there are times when he is ‘availiable’. I sit there anxiously wishing and hoping that my screen would pop up with his name. As soon as it does my heart would start racing and palms sweaty. I miss those moments. He would type MOONNNNNICCAA!! And nudge me once or twice and then do :D
At the time it was plain exilarating. The exitement of it all; it was that he spoke to me! To me! Nowadays everytime i sign in i plan to write something, anything maybe just a simple hi. But then i think it over again and i might be annoying him anyway even though he is ‘availiable’. Maybe this is my cover, my mask. I’m scared of what he might reply as.that’s life as such, we are so worried about the outcome, we dont take any action. So i’ll continue being a normal human and just sit there waiting for any sign of contact from him.
I doubt he is even worrying about this.